Before I start, and I say it again later in the post, I want to say I am sorry. I am truly, truly sorry if I have ever given a complement or said something to a woman thinking it was going to be nice and kind and was not taken in the positive light I had intended and was felt as harassment. I do not know if this has ever happened, but if it ever has, I am truly sorry.
Well, there has been a video making a lot of rounds lately and overall I'd say a very interesting video. It's creating a lot of conversation. A lot of people seem offended, a lot of people seem to love it, and support it, and a lot of people seem to not care...but it definitely has made me think a lot about myself and how I act which, for better or for worse, is exactly what the video wanted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A
That's the video.
I never understood "cat calling." It never made sense to me. You whistle at a random girl on the street you think is attractive in hopes for...what? That she suddenly turns to you and says "oh my! I've been walking down this street for hours just hoping, HOPING someone will whistle at me, and now that someone has, I can finally be at rest, thank you! Thank you!!" ...or probably more along the lines of "Oh? You find me attractive? Well, let's have sex!"
But what does make sense to me is giving random people, out of the blue, complements. I like doing that for the sake of being nice and giving someone a complement. I like to make people feel good. And when I do there isn't an intention for it to go further than just the act of giving the complement. I think that lacks in this world. Random acts of kindness, thoughtfulness, and complements. And yes, I like doing it towards girls (not JUST girls though) mostly 'cause I am probably going to be more perceptive of them 'cause my eyes are drawn to them more 'cause I am more attracted to women than men. So, honestly, I felt a little offended by the video...like the video was attacking me and saying how I am and my attempts to be a good person are bad and wrong...
So, I thought about it...a lot...
And then I realized the video isn't saying that. The video is about street harassment. It's about making people aware that the "cat calling" and other things are not harmless in an effort to get them to stop. This woman is walking through New York, not necessarily looking pissed off, but she is definitely not making eye contact and is being very standoffish (huh, I guess that really is a word...). And that is why I wouldn't even say "hi" to her if I came across her in that video.
She is very pretty. She has a very nice smile and seems nice. In the YouTube description you can find her acting page : http://shoshanabroberts.wix.com/shoshanabroberts ...yes, she's an actress. No, I don't think that diminishes the video at all...but don't worry people, if anyone got outta hand during the video, she's a black belt ;)
But despite finding her attractive, there is nothing that is drawing me into her that would make me think it's okay to give her any sort of complement (or even talk to her or introduce myself). She's not making eye-contact, she's not saying anything to me, she's walking with a purpose away from people, it's very obvious that she does NOT want to be talked to, I don't know her, and she's not wearing any sort of clothing that coincides with an interest of mine (i.e. wearing a Jurassic Park shirt, or a hockey jersey, or a oneworldoneocean.com shirt, or a Ducks hat etc...or an awesome Star Wars shirt that show's a picture of Han Solo saying "I know...") None of this is happening in this video. There is apparently an American Eagle logo on her butt...but, I'm not really a fan of American Eagle...
Now if she did make eye-contact with me...I'd probably smile. If she smiles back, maybe I'd say hi. If she says hi then I would say it's okay to continue talking to her. And if she says bye...she says bye. Conversation ended. Or I could say bye first...which would also end the conversation. If she is wearing some clothing that coincides with an interest of mine, I'll probably say something like "Ahhh awesome hat/shirt!" or "Go Ducks!! :D " and just leave it at that and walk away. I'm not saying by wearing that I feel like they are allowing me to say something or that she is obligated to respond in kind, but if someone is wearing something of interest to me that excites me, male or female, I will want to share, even for a brief moment, that connection with the person about our shared interest. If they don't, and they don't react or respond, that's fine too.
(I'll be honest, I will randomly on the street complement other men's beards even without eye-contact...or mustaches...but I do feel like we just already have an unspoken bond and understanding...)
And if I were to want to want to give her some sort of compliment of "your eyes are beautiful" or "you have a very warm smile" (both of which are very true for this girl) it would always start with an "excuse me" or something...and even if after "excuse me" she ignores, then whatever. That's fine. It's completely in her right. I don't think she NEEDS the complement, I don't think she is looking for one.
But I don't want to, even after watching this video, feel like that I can't nor am allowed to still try and talk to people on a public street. Or that my genuine attempts at random complements should stop. I think people just need to read the situation. Read the body language from the people around them and stop being so oblivious of what is going on outside of their own mind.
I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm sure I've given a complement to a girl before, thinking it was a good situation and it wasn't. And for those times, I'm sorry. I truly am. I'm sorry I'm not perfect (but I'm working on it...). But I am not sorry for all the times that I have and it hasn't been misunderstood. And it did make them feel good and there was no misinterpretation of the intentions or situation.
So, I wont stop doing it (in the right scenario/reading the situation of course). It's in my nature, I want to be a nice person and I think this world doesn't need less people being friendly and genuinely nice for the sake of being kind...it needs more. Love, guys. The world just needs more genuine love.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll be honest...I really wanted to go on a whole rant about how annoying it is that so many people are being judgmental with the "not so obviously creepy" things like "God bless" or "have a nice a day." But honestly, think about it. Someone she does not know starts talking to her on the street, not in any sort of sexual way. She needs to make a decision quickly about how to react. The ONLY way to do that is to make a judgmental call. She HAS to judge. There's no way around it. It has to be based off of surroundings, mood, and the person. How the person says it, when, where etc...all these come into account.
Some judge too quickly, others blindly just go with what is "likely" , some maybe judge too slowly, and some will engage and ask to be left alone or whatever and some wont...but honestly if there is any ounce of any possible intention in the person talking to her, anywhere in their mind of something like "ooohh this could result in me hooking up" ...it radiates off of you. It's obvious. It can be seen and felt.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Monday, June 9, 2014
Following Blindly
Time for a new one...
Lately I've been having a lot of doubts and a lot of frustrations with understanding God and trying to stay positive about things and believing that God truly IS Good. A lot of arguments come up in my prayers, some of which result in the words "The world could be better, but You choose to let it be as terrible as it is. The Universe isn't as good as it can be. You seem to want us to be pain and almost encourage it and desire it for a dependency on You! You don't listen, nor do You care to do, You're gonna do whatever it is You want to do!" (which of course is funny when you look at my last post about how that all works lol) so it's clearly more complicated ... but I don't need to get far into that...that's not the point of the post...
In the darker moments have even resided in a very strong doubt to even the existence of God and that all could be just a big coincidence. And if He does, why would anyone want to keep living in such a painful world when after death, you can be WITH God. But as I keep trying to pray through these frustrations, I recently came to the possibility that I'm not doing as much as I can to really listen to God. Am I missing a message? A path? An opportunity? Maybe? Maybe not. But I've decided to make sure I am actually paying my dues, doing what I can...
So I've decided to stop my hesitations with things in my life. I want to truly wake up with giving God a real, genuine chance to lead me where He wants me to be. If He IS so good, that blindly following Him should be the right path, right? Well...now I want to actually see if this is true. We all get compelled one way or another towards an action and a thought and sometimes are too scared or confused to act. That won't be what I do anymore...and I want to document it. I want to keep myself accountable to do it and to remember it.
Now of course I am one who over analyzes everything and is hyper-observant and always looking for connections...so of course the positive is I'm going to be trying to see something positive from this, but the negative is I may look at every small thing as a sign...so, hopefully writing it out will help me not get too carried away...
For example this morning, I put on pants. The pants were SUPER damp from the dryer last night, but I knew I wanted to wear pants, so I wore them. But everything felt very uncomfortable and gross...but still got in the car with them...and after a 2-minute argument with God about whether or not this is one of those things I should be taking note of...I turned back home and changed into shorts...and felt sooooo much better!
Now is that thinking too much into it? The time difference could have prevented me from getting into a bad car accident? Who knows. I don't.
But the point is to keep trying to just go with where I feel like God is telling me to. And just stop hesitating and doubting it. And follow. Even if it makes no sense.
God, Guide me.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
How God Works (or the only way it really makes sense to me...as of today)
Here I am about to type about how I think God works...and I have NO idea how this blogging site works...why do I already have like multiple blog sites? And...posts for each blog? I don't know...I'm confused...
Anyway...
This is about prayer. And the confusing nature of it. And I think I have it understood.
This is also about God and the pain and suffering that is in the world. God = Good. Suffering = bad. God controls all; in all there is suffering. That's a very simplistic way to look at it, but it's a common contradiction that upsets people, but again, I think I have it understood.
"If God is good, why is there suffering?"
God has a plan. He has a plan for all us and for the entire universe (universe meaning all of existence). He has an end goal - but we do not know what it is, and we cannot understand it. And after a lot of thought and searching, I don't believe suffering is part of His plan.
Basically, there is Point A and Point B. God's plan is to get us to Point B. Simple. Straight line. Done...or is it? (lol) We can't see this mysterious Point B. We are blinded. But Point B = God's ultimate plan, so there is no way we CAN see Point B. So we must trust God in the journey - but - now here is where everything gets jumbled - we were also created with free will.
(now I believe we were created with free will because God wants us to accept the gift of salvation and love Him in a true form, if He forces us to accept the gift and to love Him, it's not in a true form and it has no meaning)
Our free will makes this journey NOT a straight line. We go all over the place and do a lot of stupid things that are not in any way glorifying to God. And that is what creates suffering. So, we have suffering. People who do horrible HORRIBLE things (steal, murder, rape, etc...). Now I think God would prefer that we didn't. But He has given us this free will, and He isn't going to take it away.
So what I think He does, and He is a master at it, He tries to find ways to use these HORRIBLE things and find good in them. In the times of suffering, man is more likely to go to God. Sometimes immediately, sometimes as a last resort. Some people (me included) need the pain and suffering to help grow, but some don't.
Now people pray. People pray all the time for suffering to stop. But it doesn't. Because there is free will. And the prayer to "make someone do something" would take away free will. I think prayer serves many different purposes.
God wants us to pray because that encourages a conversation with Him and helps grow a relationship. He wants us to just TALK to Him. We can ask for things, ask for clarity, thank Him, complain, whatever...He just wants us to do it! So, in that alone, prayer is a great thing. But I want to explore the way God answers prayers.
I believe God's journey for His plan is always in fluctuation. I think He sees the billion different ways one thing can happen. And then there are certain key points in this universe that He knows MUST happen. And they do. But He is always focusing on His end goal (Point B). It's not that the current moment isn't important, but He understands that getting to Point B is just as important as Point B itself. Only He understands that. We wont ever understand that. Point B wont be the same Point B if we don't get there in the way He wants us to. But with free will he has to move things around so the journey can still have the same desired impact and also not change Point B.
Let's say Point B is 5. 1 + 4 = 5. Now, 1 has free will. So 1 decides to subtract half of it...and is now .5. Now God will add into 1's life another .5. Thus - .5 + .5 + 4 = 5. But maybe 1 doesn't want another .5...And so on and so forth so the journey can even be something like .5 - 4 + .5 / 42 squared * 3.14 [56x - etc...etc...etc... = 5.
So for the example of "If God doesn't want me to kill myself, he will have me survive this 100 story fall I'm about to jump." I disagree completely with that. He MAY have you miraculously survive, but He wont force you to not take the jump. What He WILL do is put doubt into your mind of surviving. He will provide loved ones by your side to say "don't do it." He will do everything He can do without taking away your free will.
And that is a way of God trying to take suffering out of the world. I don't think He just lets it happen, but He makes attempts to stop it (but without taking away free will). And even if you did go ahead and jump, He would find a way to still find good, He would have to change his equation to get to Point B. Now people will bring up "can't God just perform a miracle?" He can. But if he does one every single time something like that happens, the fabric of the universe has no meaning. It would be like playing a game of Chess, and letting your opponent take back any move they want, at any time, as many times as they want. The game would cease to exist and have no merit.
Now there is the confusion of "He knows what everyone is gonna do before they do it anyway." So, is God surprised by what happened? How can he be? He must have known all this suffering would be happening. And yes. He does. But He also knows every single possibility without the suffering. He sees all possible moments at all possible times. And in the same way I don't think a dog can understand how we think and see the world...the same for how we can't understand how God sees the universe.
I do think God takes into consideration every single prayer everyone does. But He wont take away people's free will. I think if it can fit into His plan, He will try to put it into place, but it is still up to the other people to take the actions. He wont force them to do anything. I do believe that if you don't pray for things, certain things wont happen. But God wants you to pray. And He wants you to act in glorifying Him. And He will encourage you to do so. And if you don't, well, then He just needs to make some more changes to the equation. But He'll never give up on you.
Now as far as do people who don't have any ability to understand God's grace/salvation go to hell? I don't believe that's necessarily true. Since I believe that God can see every single possible moment at all times, I believe He can see into anyone's soul and see what choice they would make if they were made aware.
And what about people who are aware, but chose not to accept the gift? Honestly, in the idea of parallel universes, where every single action and possible event that could happen is happening somewhere - if somewhere in those parallel universes that person has accepted it - I believe that person's soul in all universes is "saved." It's possible there are some who, just in no possible way, would ever accept.
Now does this just make everything just not matter? No. Because there's doubt. This could be all wrong. And really what it comes down to is we are given what we are given to work with. We observe what we observe and even if this entire universe was fake or not true or whatever, we know we exist in it. There could be more and maybe there isn't. But either way, we know that we exist RIGHT NOW. We exist in this current universe with this current situation and these current issues. And nothing can take away the right now. I hear what I hear, I see what I see...and if there's more I hope to learn it and understand it, but until then I can only work with what I got and the universe I perceive and exist in.
...at least that's what I believe.
Anyway...
This is about prayer. And the confusing nature of it. And I think I have it understood.
This is also about God and the pain and suffering that is in the world. God = Good. Suffering = bad. God controls all; in all there is suffering. That's a very simplistic way to look at it, but it's a common contradiction that upsets people, but again, I think I have it understood.
"If God is good, why is there suffering?"
God has a plan. He has a plan for all us and for the entire universe (universe meaning all of existence). He has an end goal - but we do not know what it is, and we cannot understand it. And after a lot of thought and searching, I don't believe suffering is part of His plan.
Basically, there is Point A and Point B. God's plan is to get us to Point B. Simple. Straight line. Done...or is it? (lol) We can't see this mysterious Point B. We are blinded. But Point B = God's ultimate plan, so there is no way we CAN see Point B. So we must trust God in the journey - but - now here is where everything gets jumbled - we were also created with free will.
(now I believe we were created with free will because God wants us to accept the gift of salvation and love Him in a true form, if He forces us to accept the gift and to love Him, it's not in a true form and it has no meaning)
Our free will makes this journey NOT a straight line. We go all over the place and do a lot of stupid things that are not in any way glorifying to God. And that is what creates suffering. So, we have suffering. People who do horrible HORRIBLE things (steal, murder, rape, etc...). Now I think God would prefer that we didn't. But He has given us this free will, and He isn't going to take it away.
So what I think He does, and He is a master at it, He tries to find ways to use these HORRIBLE things and find good in them. In the times of suffering, man is more likely to go to God. Sometimes immediately, sometimes as a last resort. Some people (me included) need the pain and suffering to help grow, but some don't.
Now people pray. People pray all the time for suffering to stop. But it doesn't. Because there is free will. And the prayer to "make someone do something" would take away free will. I think prayer serves many different purposes.
God wants us to pray because that encourages a conversation with Him and helps grow a relationship. He wants us to just TALK to Him. We can ask for things, ask for clarity, thank Him, complain, whatever...He just wants us to do it! So, in that alone, prayer is a great thing. But I want to explore the way God answers prayers.
I believe God's journey for His plan is always in fluctuation. I think He sees the billion different ways one thing can happen. And then there are certain key points in this universe that He knows MUST happen. And they do. But He is always focusing on His end goal (Point B). It's not that the current moment isn't important, but He understands that getting to Point B is just as important as Point B itself. Only He understands that. We wont ever understand that. Point B wont be the same Point B if we don't get there in the way He wants us to. But with free will he has to move things around so the journey can still have the same desired impact and also not change Point B.
Let's say Point B is 5. 1 + 4 = 5. Now, 1 has free will. So 1 decides to subtract half of it...and is now .5. Now God will add into 1's life another .5. Thus - .5 + .5 + 4 = 5. But maybe 1 doesn't want another .5...And so on and so forth so the journey can even be something like .5 - 4 + .5 / 42 squared * 3.14 [56x - etc...etc...etc... = 5.
So for the example of "If God doesn't want me to kill myself, he will have me survive this 100 story fall I'm about to jump." I disagree completely with that. He MAY have you miraculously survive, but He wont force you to not take the jump. What He WILL do is put doubt into your mind of surviving. He will provide loved ones by your side to say "don't do it." He will do everything He can do without taking away your free will.
And that is a way of God trying to take suffering out of the world. I don't think He just lets it happen, but He makes attempts to stop it (but without taking away free will). And even if you did go ahead and jump, He would find a way to still find good, He would have to change his equation to get to Point B. Now people will bring up "can't God just perform a miracle?" He can. But if he does one every single time something like that happens, the fabric of the universe has no meaning. It would be like playing a game of Chess, and letting your opponent take back any move they want, at any time, as many times as they want. The game would cease to exist and have no merit.
Now there is the confusion of "He knows what everyone is gonna do before they do it anyway." So, is God surprised by what happened? How can he be? He must have known all this suffering would be happening. And yes. He does. But He also knows every single possibility without the suffering. He sees all possible moments at all possible times. And in the same way I don't think a dog can understand how we think and see the world...the same for how we can't understand how God sees the universe.
I do think God takes into consideration every single prayer everyone does. But He wont take away people's free will. I think if it can fit into His plan, He will try to put it into place, but it is still up to the other people to take the actions. He wont force them to do anything. I do believe that if you don't pray for things, certain things wont happen. But God wants you to pray. And He wants you to act in glorifying Him. And He will encourage you to do so. And if you don't, well, then He just needs to make some more changes to the equation. But He'll never give up on you.
Now as far as do people who don't have any ability to understand God's grace/salvation go to hell? I don't believe that's necessarily true. Since I believe that God can see every single possible moment at all times, I believe He can see into anyone's soul and see what choice they would make if they were made aware.
And what about people who are aware, but chose not to accept the gift? Honestly, in the idea of parallel universes, where every single action and possible event that could happen is happening somewhere - if somewhere in those parallel universes that person has accepted it - I believe that person's soul in all universes is "saved." It's possible there are some who, just in no possible way, would ever accept.
Now does this just make everything just not matter? No. Because there's doubt. This could be all wrong. And really what it comes down to is we are given what we are given to work with. We observe what we observe and even if this entire universe was fake or not true or whatever, we know we exist in it. There could be more and maybe there isn't. But either way, we know that we exist RIGHT NOW. We exist in this current universe with this current situation and these current issues. And nothing can take away the right now. I hear what I hear, I see what I see...and if there's more I hope to learn it and understand it, but until then I can only work with what I got and the universe I perceive and exist in.
...at least that's what I believe.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
What I've Gathered So Far
First off...I don't know why I still call this blog "experiments" ...very few of my posts have been about all my experiments...I should think about changing that...or organizing better.
Anyway!
On December 18th, 2011, I started doing something I've never done before. I started going to a Bible Study. I felt lost, confused, etc...and my relationship with God was something I wanted to work on. I also wanted to understand the Bible better.
Well, I can say that now that I've gone through 1 1/2 books (Titus and James) I'm still fairly lost and confused, but feel like I have a much stronger understanding and relationship with God. So I wanted to compile all the great things I have learned and have taken away from these weekly get togethers. Hopefully other people would find these useful.
Take 12 - C/U - For first time ever -...wait! Those are notes from something else...whoops! Wrong page!
...okay, here we go! :)
- Show that people can be trusted
- Ask for God's strength for motivation to stop doing something...evil!
- Use the want/desire of that to draw closer to God and that's how you can gain God's strength
- Be a man of your word
- Family most important
- Nope, relationship with God is MOST important - can trust that He will always be there and THAT is most important, that relationship must develop!
- Don't talk nonsense or give un-important information...unless it's funny :)
- Direct access to God through grace/redemption - gets you closer to God
- When hearing other talk about God, take their info and compare to the Bible - keeping Christ as what you are following
- Make sure you're heart is in the right place - A PLACE OF LOVE
- Pray before doing things
- My negative attributes aren't that bad and not the only one who has them
- Not sure where to go with life feeling lost...be careful to NOT go to SELF DESTRUCTION
- Trials help us grow, temptations lead to sin
- Should embrace trials - experience it - USE IT TO LEARN
- Find joy in the progression to be complete - seeing overtime how you've grown leading to maturity
- Knowledge is good, but wisdom is important
- During trials can really only control your attitude!
- Don't worry about things you can't control - lean on God for these!
- You won't understand everything about God
- During pain, God knows we rely on Him more.
- God is looking for a relationship, not a service
- Call God into it...Call Him into EVERYTHING...pull Him in!
- Joy fueled by God - more consistent that way
- The joy of growing - During trials what will you do? Grow? Mature? Or be depressed?
- Devil takes something true - then adds false things and twists it around for manipulation
- Patience is key! Get patience from trials! ... -PATIENCE!!!
- The trial WILL be used later for our betterment
- Temptation is not from God, but from Evil, but God can allow it
- God DOES test us...our faith
- It's not God's goal to break us - only allow these things in our life 'cause it will develop us more as people and help build us!
- Sin creates distance from God
- Free will = Desires = Temptation = Distance from God = Bad
- Give in to sin - hurts relationship with God till you repent with God, doing a 180, which builds it back
- God can only make Good... God = Good
- Super Mario ...(I can't remember why I wrote down this note...)
- Get polluted with greed from seeing what others have and wanting it
- Greed pollutes my world and thus pollutes me
- Greed is similar to temptation
- Also relates to entitlement. Believing I am entitled to it so it fills me with anger/frustration when I don't receive what I believe I deserve
- Good deeds helps keep self from being polluted by the world
- Be in the word/walk the right light will transform your desires
- Be active in finding answers to prayer!
- Be a participant! Be active! Face real emotions! - Must jump in!!
- LISTEN to God
- God is looking for a relationship, not a service
- Call God into it...Call Him into EVERYTHING...pull Him in!
- Don't fight God on things...you'll lose.
- Show your heart to God. Be genuine and be HONEST. And He can show you what needs to change
- Listen with an actual attempt to reply...listen with compassion...ACTUALLY LISTEN!
- God's a great listener
- Humble yourself for the Holy Spirit...to be able to really listen...and understand what to do
- God takes it upon Himself to take care of us
- God's not afraid of your questions
- When reading a passage, ask God to convict you of the passage
- God always asks for Good
- He DOES have everything under control
- Develop relationship with Him to really learn how to listen and understand
- He knows how to make it happen - don't get in the way His plan
- Get speck out of own eye FIRST! SO I CAN SEE CLEARLY FIRST!!!
- See yourself properly
- Always consider best way to show your love in each moment
- Try to support people as much as you can, and they need to understand that you are doing it as you much as you can
- Let go...as hard as it can be...sometimes you will need to let go...
- Be slow to speak...it's fine to take your time to answer
- Anger - tough to have self control. Let Him take over any emotion, instantly. Find the truth within myself during anger...let God act out on anger, let Him be wrathful...not me
- Hulk
- Show love towards someone, they won't fell judged
- HELP YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN HELP THE OTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- It's important to treat everyone the same...don't judge...give people the benefit of the doubt
- When in need, don't deny others
- We're all in the same boat, any sin = any sin
- Want God to be proud
- Take the low road...just act in love...always towards others AND OURSELVES!!
- Try to love at least...
- Try
- Try!
- TRY!
- TRY!!!
- TRY!!!!!!!!
- Love...so much love...soooooooo much love...love...lots and lots of love...love, love, love, love...LOVE LOVE!!! <3 <3 <3 ¡<3!
- Actions of love are good signs 'cause it takes something out of you
- Patience/love is necessary
- Look at the positive in people, love the positive...present the negative to God
- Use the negative to drive to be better, to fuel more compassion
- "I care about you and I'm afraid etc...is really hurting you...and it's hurting me..."
- God is a friend too!
- Wake up saying "yes" to God, "what do You want me to do?"
- God can't use my faith for His divine purposes if I don't act on my faith
- God knows what is best
- Pray that God's will will be fulfilled and I can be used the way God wants
- Always ask HOW IS THIS GOING TO BRING GLORLY TO GOD???
- Healing is for the physical (not guaranteed), forgiveness is for the spiritual (guaranteed)
- So many trivial, superficial things I do/worry/focus on that just aren't important...they really aren't. There are so many other important things...there really are. Stop worrying about the stupid things. So many more important things. Sure wanting a family is important, but I have to trust that that will happen and worry about things that do ACTUALLY matter! I'm going to try hard to not trust that I'll have a family but trust that what You want to happen with me, will! And I just hope that I don't get in the way of what YOU want.
Anyway!
On December 18th, 2011, I started doing something I've never done before. I started going to a Bible Study. I felt lost, confused, etc...and my relationship with God was something I wanted to work on. I also wanted to understand the Bible better.
Well, I can say that now that I've gone through 1 1/2 books (Titus and James) I'm still fairly lost and confused, but feel like I have a much stronger understanding and relationship with God. So I wanted to compile all the great things I have learned and have taken away from these weekly get togethers. Hopefully other people would find these useful.
Take 12 - C/U - For first time ever -...wait! Those are notes from something else...whoops! Wrong page!
...okay, here we go! :)
- Show that people can be trusted
- Ask for God's strength for motivation to stop doing something...evil!
- Use the want/desire of that to draw closer to God and that's how you can gain God's strength
- Be a man of your word
- Family most important
- Nope, relationship with God is MOST important - can trust that He will always be there and THAT is most important, that relationship must develop!
- Don't talk nonsense or give un-important information...unless it's funny :)
- Direct access to God through grace/redemption - gets you closer to God
- When hearing other talk about God, take their info and compare to the Bible - keeping Christ as what you are following
- Make sure you're heart is in the right place - A PLACE OF LOVE
- Pray before doing things
- My negative attributes aren't that bad and not the only one who has them
- Not sure where to go with life feeling lost...be careful to NOT go to SELF DESTRUCTION
- Trials help us grow, temptations lead to sin
- Should embrace trials - experience it - USE IT TO LEARN
- Find joy in the progression to be complete - seeing overtime how you've grown leading to maturity
- Knowledge is good, but wisdom is important
- During trials can really only control your attitude!
- Don't worry about things you can't control - lean on God for these!
- You won't understand everything about God
- During pain, God knows we rely on Him more.
- God is looking for a relationship, not a service
- Call God into it...Call Him into EVERYTHING...pull Him in!
- Joy fueled by God - more consistent that way
- The joy of growing - During trials what will you do? Grow? Mature? Or be depressed?
- Devil takes something true - then adds false things and twists it around for manipulation
- Patience is key! Get patience from trials! ... -PATIENCE!!!
- The trial WILL be used later for our betterment
- Temptation is not from God, but from Evil, but God can allow it
- God DOES test us...our faith
- It's not God's goal to break us - only allow these things in our life 'cause it will develop us more as people and help build us!
- Sin creates distance from God
- Free will = Desires = Temptation = Distance from God = Bad
- Give in to sin - hurts relationship with God till you repent with God, doing a 180, which builds it back
- God can only make Good... God = Good
- Super Mario ...(I can't remember why I wrote down this note...)
- Get polluted with greed from seeing what others have and wanting it
- Greed pollutes my world and thus pollutes me
- Greed is similar to temptation
- Also relates to entitlement. Believing I am entitled to it so it fills me with anger/frustration when I don't receive what I believe I deserve
- Good deeds helps keep self from being polluted by the world
- Be in the word/walk the right light will transform your desires
- Be active in finding answers to prayer!
- Be a participant! Be active! Face real emotions! - Must jump in!!
- LISTEN to God
- God is looking for a relationship, not a service
- Call God into it...Call Him into EVERYTHING...pull Him in!
- Don't fight God on things...you'll lose.
- Show your heart to God. Be genuine and be HONEST. And He can show you what needs to change
- Listen with an actual attempt to reply...listen with compassion...ACTUALLY LISTEN!
- God's a great listener
- Humble yourself for the Holy Spirit...to be able to really listen...and understand what to do
- God takes it upon Himself to take care of us
- God's not afraid of your questions
- When reading a passage, ask God to convict you of the passage
- God always asks for Good
- He DOES have everything under control
- Develop relationship with Him to really learn how to listen and understand
- He knows how to make it happen - don't get in the way His plan
- Get speck out of own eye FIRST! SO I CAN SEE CLEARLY FIRST!!!
- See yourself properly
- Always consider best way to show your love in each moment
- Try to support people as much as you can, and they need to understand that you are doing it as you much as you can
- Let go...as hard as it can be...sometimes you will need to let go...
- Be slow to speak...it's fine to take your time to answer
- Anger - tough to have self control. Let Him take over any emotion, instantly. Find the truth within myself during anger...let God act out on anger, let Him be wrathful...not me
- Hulk
- Show love towards someone, they won't fell judged
- HELP YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN HELP THE OTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- It's important to treat everyone the same...don't judge...give people the benefit of the doubt
- When in need, don't deny others
- We're all in the same boat, any sin = any sin
- Want God to be proud
- Take the low road...just act in love...always towards others AND OURSELVES!!
- Try to love at least...
- Try
- Try!
- TRY!
- TRY!!!
- TRY!!!!!!!!
- Love...so much love...soooooooo much love...love...lots and lots of love...love, love, love, love...LOVE LOVE!!! <3 <3 <3 ¡<3!
- Actions of love are good signs 'cause it takes something out of you
- Patience/love is necessary
- Look at the positive in people, love the positive...present the negative to God
- Use the negative to drive to be better, to fuel more compassion
- "I care about you and I'm afraid etc...is really hurting you...and it's hurting me..."
- God is a friend too!
- Wake up saying "yes" to God, "what do You want me to do?"
- God can't use my faith for His divine purposes if I don't act on my faith
- God knows what is best
- Pray that God's will will be fulfilled and I can be used the way God wants
- Always ask HOW IS THIS GOING TO BRING GLORLY TO GOD???
- Healing is for the physical (not guaranteed), forgiveness is for the spiritual (guaranteed)
- So many trivial, superficial things I do/worry/focus on that just aren't important...they really aren't. There are so many other important things...there really are. Stop worrying about the stupid things. So many more important things. Sure wanting a family is important, but I have to trust that that will happen and worry about things that do ACTUALLY matter! I'm going to try hard to not trust that I'll have a family but trust that what You want to happen with me, will! And I just hope that I don't get in the way of what YOU want.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Envious God?
I believe in God.
Now that that's out of the way...
This whole "making life simpler" thing has really been getting me to thinking about something...
I could see some people making the argument that life is simpler for animals. Flies. Puppies. Ants. Kitties. Insects. Whales.
That they all just act on impulse. Their natural, animal instinct. Billions of years of evolution being engrained into each animal to act the way it does to survive and to live. This I believe to be true. Animals don't "think" the same way we do. They don't "analyze" each situation the same way we do. They don't take into account all the different things we do when we act.
I've always believed that humans are interesting 'cause we can take the natural things (eating, breathing, sleeping, drinking, mating) and DECIDE to not do them. Decide to not eat when hungry. Decide to not breath. Not to sleep when tired. Not to drink when thirsty. Not to mate...when...wanting to mate...
We can just NOT do them. Animals don't do that. They feel a need, and go for it! Hungry? They try to eat. Sleepy? They will try to sleep. Want to mate? They will just go ahead and try to find a mate! Simple, right? What a simple life they have?
Things don't go well? They don't get sad about it...they don't talk it out with another puppy...they just keep trying and will eventually succeed. Or they die. But they don't fear death, at least not the same way we "worry" about death. They just do what is natural, what is instinct, and do it!
We think.
We analyze.
We over think.
We over analyze.
We hesitate.
So let's try to be more like those animals! Make life simple!
Doesn't work. Obviously. This works for the rest of the animal kingdom 'cause the rest of the animal kingdom works this way. A handful of humans trying to do this wouldn't work. But an entire human society acting like this, WOULD work (in theory).
But I would argue the way we over analyze...the way we think...the way our conscious works...IS our animal instinct. It's part of how humans are. But like I said earlier, as humans, we can also choose not to be that way. It's our choice.
Personally, I choose to be that way. 'Cause it's what is so great about us!
Okay, now that that is said...
A lot of people look at those insects and animals in an envious way. "Oh! To be a puppy...where you don't have to worry about bills!" or "Oh ants...look at you, just digging away, not a care in the world! Not looking for love...no heartbreak..."
But those animals aren't "aware" that we exist the same way we are aware that they do. They don't see us as humans, they see us as something else. I don't know what it is. But it's not like they can think "oh look! a human foot!" It's more like "ouch! Pain! Run away! Or be killed!"
So it makes me think of it one step beyond us...a higher being above us...which would be God. An existence we know exists (at least the ones who choose to believe) but can't fully comprehend or understand, but when looking for it, we can see it (at least I believe so).
So, in the same way we look at these "lower" beings (yes that sounds a bit arrogant...) and envy their simple mindedness...does God look at us and envy our simple mindedness compared to Him? We have things we can't comprehend. "Infinity" and "nothing" are up there for me at least. We can't see the future. We don't have all the knowledge in the world.
So I wonder is God like, "Oh, look at those humans! So much happier than I am...not understanding infinity! The pain that comes with knowing all things that will ever exist!" or like "How lucky they don't have to worry about blergubloping!" ...Sidenote: Blergubloping is a pain 10x worse than heartbreak and your best friend stabbing you in the back combined while the IRS audits you...it's from an emotion we don't even understand and could never called "Gublop." And "ing" doesn't make it an "action."
Is God envious of us? 'Cause we can't see the future? We don't know all? We don't understand infinity and nothing?
Just interesting to think about...
Now that that's out of the way...
This whole "making life simpler" thing has really been getting me to thinking about something...
I could see some people making the argument that life is simpler for animals. Flies. Puppies. Ants. Kitties. Insects. Whales.
That they all just act on impulse. Their natural, animal instinct. Billions of years of evolution being engrained into each animal to act the way it does to survive and to live. This I believe to be true. Animals don't "think" the same way we do. They don't "analyze" each situation the same way we do. They don't take into account all the different things we do when we act.
I've always believed that humans are interesting 'cause we can take the natural things (eating, breathing, sleeping, drinking, mating) and DECIDE to not do them. Decide to not eat when hungry. Decide to not breath. Not to sleep when tired. Not to drink when thirsty. Not to mate...when...wanting to mate...
We can just NOT do them. Animals don't do that. They feel a need, and go for it! Hungry? They try to eat. Sleepy? They will try to sleep. Want to mate? They will just go ahead and try to find a mate! Simple, right? What a simple life they have?
Things don't go well? They don't get sad about it...they don't talk it out with another puppy...they just keep trying and will eventually succeed. Or they die. But they don't fear death, at least not the same way we "worry" about death. They just do what is natural, what is instinct, and do it!
We think.
We analyze.
We over think.
We over analyze.
We hesitate.
So let's try to be more like those animals! Make life simple!
Doesn't work. Obviously. This works for the rest of the animal kingdom 'cause the rest of the animal kingdom works this way. A handful of humans trying to do this wouldn't work. But an entire human society acting like this, WOULD work (in theory).
But I would argue the way we over analyze...the way we think...the way our conscious works...IS our animal instinct. It's part of how humans are. But like I said earlier, as humans, we can also choose not to be that way. It's our choice.
Personally, I choose to be that way. 'Cause it's what is so great about us!
Okay, now that that is said...
A lot of people look at those insects and animals in an envious way. "Oh! To be a puppy...where you don't have to worry about bills!" or "Oh ants...look at you, just digging away, not a care in the world! Not looking for love...no heartbreak..."
But those animals aren't "aware" that we exist the same way we are aware that they do. They don't see us as humans, they see us as something else. I don't know what it is. But it's not like they can think "oh look! a human foot!" It's more like "ouch! Pain! Run away! Or be killed!"
So it makes me think of it one step beyond us...a higher being above us...which would be God. An existence we know exists (at least the ones who choose to believe) but can't fully comprehend or understand, but when looking for it, we can see it (at least I believe so).
So, in the same way we look at these "lower" beings (yes that sounds a bit arrogant...) and envy their simple mindedness...does God look at us and envy our simple mindedness compared to Him? We have things we can't comprehend. "Infinity" and "nothing" are up there for me at least. We can't see the future. We don't have all the knowledge in the world.
So I wonder is God like, "Oh, look at those humans! So much happier than I am...not understanding infinity! The pain that comes with knowing all things that will ever exist!" or like "How lucky they don't have to worry about blergubloping!" ...Sidenote: Blergubloping is a pain 10x worse than heartbreak and your best friend stabbing you in the back combined while the IRS audits you...it's from an emotion we don't even understand and could never called "Gublop." And "ing" doesn't make it an "action."
Is God envious of us? 'Cause we can't see the future? We don't know all? We don't understand infinity and nothing?
Just interesting to think about...
Making Life Simple...
Okay so this has bothering me a lot lately...with so many friends posting things about "oh look, life is so simple, just do these simple things..." and how that doesn't work.
For example (I've seen too many friends post this and others like it):
1. Missing somebody?...Call...doesn't answer...leave message...don't hear back.
2. Wanna meet up? ...Invite...declined
3. Wanna be understood? ...Explain...either done poorly or people don't listen...continue to not be understood
4. Have questions? ...Ask...don't get answers
5. Don't like something? ...Say it...people don't agree/hurt someone's feelings/people take it personally...see #3
6. Like something?...State it. (I support this one)
7. Want something? ...Ask for it...still don't get it...
8. Love someone? ...Tell it...not returned...not mutual...hurt...
Simple, right?
Of course this is looking at each question at a worst case scenario/cynical way...so how to keep life simple when we just don't always get what we want?
That is just Step 1. That list of things to do is just Step 1. So it's not THAT simple to keep life simple. Actually this is a good recipe to be inconsiderate to other people/things if that's all it is. But this meme is about "simple" so it would defeat the purpose to add a Step 2 or a Step 3...
But I don't think life is simple, so I will go ahead and add them...
Step 2:
1. Don't expect an answer, be understanding when you don't.
2. Declined? Be understanding and supportive.
3. Not understood still? Don't expect people to, but be understanding of others (which in turn helps them with THEIR #3)
4. Don't expect answers, you won't always get them, be understanding and acceptance of not knowing
5. Understand people don't want to always hear you don't like something. This is very negative. Shouldn't deny it, but be gentle with it and understand that people wont agree....even after #3
6. I support this one. But understand people may not agree
7. Go after what you want. But don't expect it to always happen, understand that it may not. You may not get what you want.
8. Do it for the sake of letting someone know they are loved. Where it's not about the return. It's about showing love and understand that it's a big thing to say to someone "I love you."
...
So, you want life to be simple? Do this:
BE UNDERSTANDING
LISTEN
LAUGH
and above all
ACT WITH LOVE
(and do it for the sake of doing it, not for a return, not for a reward, but just for the sake of doing it)
Be understanding of people, that they are different and don't always agree.
Listen to them. Actually listen to what they are saying (this helps you understand).
Laugh. Be able to find humor and laughter in things...at yourself...and at situations...
And ACT with love. Don't just say it...you can say it too...but SHOW it. Show people you love. Have your actions come from a place of love. Love for yourself and love for them. Love for the world that we share.
But is it really even that simple? ...as of right now I say yes lol But I could be wrong...
Basically it can get even simpler and go to one word:
ACCEPTANCE
You want life to be as simple as it can be...live by that word. But I think that simplifies it too much. Too much to the extent that this wouldn't help progress the world if we all did this.
And as far as finding a successful life...I prefer my friend Steven's quote:
"Just find what you love to do...and just do it better than everyone else."
_____________________________________
Side note on the "acceptance" thing:
The stages to acceptance are (according to some people):
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
The key one here is depression and anger. If we go through these every time we "accept" something...and if the simplest way to make life simple is to act on acceptance...then being angry and being sad are a part of making life simple...which...to some people doesn't make life simple at all :P just interesting to think about...
For example (I've seen too many friends post this and others like it):
1. Missing somebody?...Call...doesn't answer...leave message...don't hear back.
2. Wanna meet up? ...Invite...declined
3. Wanna be understood? ...Explain...either done poorly or people don't listen...continue to not be understood
4. Have questions? ...Ask...don't get answers
5. Don't like something? ...Say it...people don't agree/hurt someone's feelings/people take it personally...see #3
6. Like something?...State it. (I support this one)
7. Want something? ...Ask for it...still don't get it...
8. Love someone? ...Tell it...not returned...not mutual...hurt...
Simple, right?
Of course this is looking at each question at a worst case scenario/cynical way...so how to keep life simple when we just don't always get what we want?
That is just Step 1. That list of things to do is just Step 1. So it's not THAT simple to keep life simple. Actually this is a good recipe to be inconsiderate to other people/things if that's all it is. But this meme is about "simple" so it would defeat the purpose to add a Step 2 or a Step 3...
But I don't think life is simple, so I will go ahead and add them...
Step 2:
1. Don't expect an answer, be understanding when you don't.
2. Declined? Be understanding and supportive.
3. Not understood still? Don't expect people to, but be understanding of others (which in turn helps them with THEIR #3)
4. Don't expect answers, you won't always get them, be understanding and acceptance of not knowing
5. Understand people don't want to always hear you don't like something. This is very negative. Shouldn't deny it, but be gentle with it and understand that people wont agree....even after #3
6. I support this one. But understand people may not agree
7. Go after what you want. But don't expect it to always happen, understand that it may not. You may not get what you want.
8. Do it for the sake of letting someone know they are loved. Where it's not about the return. It's about showing love and understand that it's a big thing to say to someone "I love you."
...
So, you want life to be simple? Do this:
BE UNDERSTANDING
LISTEN
LAUGH
and above all
ACT WITH LOVE
(and do it for the sake of doing it, not for a return, not for a reward, but just for the sake of doing it)
Be understanding of people, that they are different and don't always agree.
Listen to them. Actually listen to what they are saying (this helps you understand).
Laugh. Be able to find humor and laughter in things...at yourself...and at situations...
And ACT with love. Don't just say it...you can say it too...but SHOW it. Show people you love. Have your actions come from a place of love. Love for yourself and love for them. Love for the world that we share.
But is it really even that simple? ...as of right now I say yes lol But I could be wrong...
Basically it can get even simpler and go to one word:
ACCEPTANCE
You want life to be as simple as it can be...live by that word. But I think that simplifies it too much. Too much to the extent that this wouldn't help progress the world if we all did this.
And as far as finding a successful life...I prefer my friend Steven's quote:
"Just find what you love to do...and just do it better than everyone else."
_____________________________________
Side note on the "acceptance" thing:
The stages to acceptance are (according to some people):
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
The key one here is depression and anger. If we go through these every time we "accept" something...and if the simplest way to make life simple is to act on acceptance...then being angry and being sad are a part of making life simple...which...to some people doesn't make life simple at all :P just interesting to think about...
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Too Much of a Good Thing?
Well! Have a new thing I want to experiment with!
This one involves music...
Music is an incredible thing. How there is so much that is said, experienced, and emoted in just a couple of seconds of music. A picture is worth 1000 words...a musical phrase is probably up around there as well...Music moves me more than anything else. It shapes us more than any could imagine. It's a language all understands 'cause it touches more than just the ears, but the heart and the soul.
I don't know anyone who just doesn't "like" music...
Basically...as I'm sure we all have experienced...we don't like EVERYTHING in every song we love. Back when I was a teen, I actually had to buy the entire "Backdraft" soundtrack to find that ONE track, with that 45 second section that is used in most movie trailers...this was before Napster...
Now there is Spotify, iTunes music store, Amazon.com etc...so we can finally just buy that one track we like and not have to worry about an entire album.
I want to take it one step further...
Like I said earlier, sometimes even in those songs, it's just a section we love...or there is a part we don't like or we "wish this wasn't in the song."
For the 5 of you who read this, who don't know me, I work in sound in film. I have the tools to remove basically whatever I want out of a song to make it what I want. So that's my plan!
I am going to take all my favorite songs and put them into Pro tools, and basically have JUST the parts I like! Edit them so it's just what I want. Just what I love. Just what moves me.
Things I'm curious about...will they have the same impact? Are the "low" parts of the music important to us to make the "high" moments even more meaningful? Or is there so much passion and emotion embedded in the high moments, we don't need the low? Can we just have straight awesome for hours and hours and hours and hours...with no break?
Also, I want to make a day...a day where I only listen to these tracks...and ONLY do awesome things. Things that make me happy...good things...joyful things...the "perfect" day...can there be a perfect day? More info on what I would consider a "perfect" day later...
Will this just be too much of a good thing?
Let's find out! :)
This one involves music...
Music is an incredible thing. How there is so much that is said, experienced, and emoted in just a couple of seconds of music. A picture is worth 1000 words...a musical phrase is probably up around there as well...Music moves me more than anything else. It shapes us more than any could imagine. It's a language all understands 'cause it touches more than just the ears, but the heart and the soul.
I don't know anyone who just doesn't "like" music...
Basically...as I'm sure we all have experienced...we don't like EVERYTHING in every song we love. Back when I was a teen, I actually had to buy the entire "Backdraft" soundtrack to find that ONE track, with that 45 second section that is used in most movie trailers...this was before Napster...
Now there is Spotify, iTunes music store, Amazon.com etc...so we can finally just buy that one track we like and not have to worry about an entire album.
I want to take it one step further...
Like I said earlier, sometimes even in those songs, it's just a section we love...or there is a part we don't like or we "wish this wasn't in the song."
For the 5 of you who read this, who don't know me, I work in sound in film. I have the tools to remove basically whatever I want out of a song to make it what I want. So that's my plan!
I am going to take all my favorite songs and put them into Pro tools, and basically have JUST the parts I like! Edit them so it's just what I want. Just what I love. Just what moves me.
Things I'm curious about...will they have the same impact? Are the "low" parts of the music important to us to make the "high" moments even more meaningful? Or is there so much passion and emotion embedded in the high moments, we don't need the low? Can we just have straight awesome for hours and hours and hours and hours...with no break?
Also, I want to make a day...a day where I only listen to these tracks...and ONLY do awesome things. Things that make me happy...good things...joyful things...the "perfect" day...can there be a perfect day? More info on what I would consider a "perfect" day later...
Will this just be too much of a good thing?
Let's find out! :)
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